


Message Sent

by Kamidani



Series: I'll Take My Time, Coming Home To You [5]
Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Also Roxas and Xion are best friends okay, And mostly deals with them, Gen, Kingdom Hearts III Spoilers, Roxas has feelings, She gives the best advice
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-19
Updated: 2019-03-19
Packaged: 2019-11-24 11:35:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,793
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18164678
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kamidani/pseuds/Kamidani
Summary: Before, when Sora had gone missing, Kairi had sent a message in a bottle. Her words always seemed clearer in ink anyways, and it had found him, even as far away as he was from the sea she'd cast it into. But now Sora is far beyond the reach of any sea, and Roxas has neither the penmanship nor the eloquence to write anything of note to Sora. But there are always other ways to go about it. Sometimes all you need is some good advice and decent cell service.





	Message Sent

**Author's Note:**

> Okay look, this is not my fault. This is entirely inspired by mageyalook on tumblr. Please go look them up, they have the most gorgeous art, and if I could link them here I would, but I'm dumb and also writing this from a tablet. Anyways, with that being said, let's get into some of that good post kh3 angst, shall we?

The first time around, Kairi had sent a message in a bottle to the half-memory that plagued her. A letter to the boy that maybe never was, to bring him back to the girl he'd almost forgotten. And later, after she'd remembered his name (Sora, his name was Sora, how could she forget?), after she'd found him and Riku, only to lose them both again, it found him. Ink on paper inside glass, and it found him. It brought him home, back to the light that he'd fought so hard to protect.

Now he was gone again, lost somewhere that no sea, no matter how vast, could reach him. Letters she'd written but never sent clenched in fragile fists, in soft hands not used to the pain and callouses of fighting. Pen strokes marred by tears, rendered illegible. It didn't matter. The only one she wanted to have read them was gone. She hadn't been strong enough, and he was gone.

Roxas watched her grieve from a distance. He felt it, stronger than maybe anyone else felt it, the silence where once there had been an echoing heartbeat to answer his own. His Other was gone, out of their reach, and there was nothing he could do.

Riku left. Where he planned on going, no one knew, but not even Kairi tried to stop him. Later, when he wondered out loud why the stubborn girl never raised a word of protest, Namine closed her sketchbook and sighed. Roxas almost wished he'd kept his mouth shut.

"She's afraid. Afraid... and ashamed. She wants to find him more than anything, but blames herself for his… for his fate. If she goes out there, and puts herself in danger, and someone else gets hurt to protect her... her heart can only take so much. She wants to fight, but she's not ready yet." Namine opened her sketchbook and showed Roxas the page she'd been drawing. Kairi, sitting on the paopu tree, holding her Keyblade up to the sky. "But her heart is strong. When she regains her courage, she'll go out there and find him. She won't come back until he's safe." Roxas hummed in thought and didn't answer. "Riku knows this. He can't bring himself to wait, but he knows that when she's ready, she'll catch up to them like she always does."

Namine shared a special bond with Kairi. The same bond Roxas had with Sora, for the few moments in which they'd existed in tandem. But there were no words that he could put on paper, no thoughts he wanted to preserve in ink. He wanted to  _talk_  to Sora, but he never got the chance. How cruel, fate was, that wherever one of them was, the other couldn't be.

"You know," Xion began one day on the Tower, looking at him sideways over her ice cream, "there are other ways to talk to people who aren't here right now." Roxas spared her a glance, noting the way her hand shook slightly. They all mourned in different ways, but Xion had yet to cry in front of him about Sora's absence. How deeply she felt his loss was a mystery.

"I'm not good at writing stuff down," Roxas muttered, letting his gaze sink down and follow the trolley as it wound around the sleepy town. "And I can't draw like Namine." He waved a mostly finished popsicle in the air, the blue tinted stick tracing circles in the sky. "All I can do is talk, and even then, sometimes my words get all messed up. There's no point."

"You, moping?" Xion teased gently, echoing his words to a certain missing Someone. "You've always seemed to know what to say before, Roxas. And-" she stopped to fish something out of her pocket, holding it out to prove her point. "-there are other options aside from writing or drawing." She tapped a button and the Gummiphone in her hand lit up, the background showing a picture of her, Roxas, Lea, Isa, and the kids from Twilight Town all grouped together with big smiles and ice cream. It had been taken in the quiet few days between the final battle and Kairi's return, when they'd all been nervous but filled with hope for the future.

"He hasn't been on Keystagram," Roxas snapped. "We checked, remember? And he hasn't been picking up any calls." Xion smiled, not in the least put off by his sharp tone.

"Ienzo told me about a new feature he added, though. A way to leave voice messages. Even if he can't answer our calls, maybe we can still leave something of our own for him to hear." She cradled the device in her palms, gazing at the picture fondly. "A new type of message in a bottle."

"And if he never gets them?" Roxas asked, not daring to allow the spark of hope in his heart to grow any bigger. If he did, it would consume him in a rush of joy that would leave him ashen and grey the moment it died.

"And if he does?" Xion countered, her voice still soft and soothing. "Wherever he is, he can use all the hope he can get. And if hearing our voices can give him hope…"

"Then it's worth it," Roxas finished. He fished out his own phone, glaring at the screen pensively. His own background was a blurry shot of Isa getting hit in the face by one of Lea's frisbees, and Lea cackling hysterically in the background. Another memento of that brief period of peace. Even as bleak as he felt, he couldn't help but crack a smile as he looked at it. He had the dumbest friends in the world, and he wouldn't have it any other way.

"I wanted to let you try it first." Roxas looked at Xion, one eyebrow raised in a silent question. "I figured you… well, that he… I thought it might mean something to him. If your voice was the one he heard first." Roxas stared at her blankly. "Roxas, he's your Other. And you were in so much pain when he disappeared. He probably felt-"

"He probably felt that pain too," Roxas realized, immediately feeling guilty. Of course, Sora couldn't have felt it if he was dea… if he was gone. But he wasn't gone. He couldn't believe that. Sora was  _stronger_  than that. There was no force in the worlds that could take him out for good. But that pain he had felt, the sensation of  _pulling ripping tearing e m p t y_  had forced him to his knees, had ripped a cry from his throat so strong that his voice had been hoarse for days.

He owed it to him, to the boy who had given him an existence, then fought to his very last breath to defend that existence. Owed him at least one message, in exchange for all the moments they'd never get to share.

"So will you try it?" Xion glanced at Roxas, down at his phone, then back up to him.

"Yeah," he said, his grip tightening, his last few bites of ice cream melting and forgotten. "I'll try it."

* * *

 

He didn't work up the courage to press "Call" until late that evening, curled up in his borrowed bed. The waves off Destiny Island crashed and ebbed in a comforting rhythm, familiar and foreign all at once. Until they found a real residence, preferably in Twilight Town, they were crashing in Sora's old house. His mother hadn't been seen since the Island's fall to darkness those years ago, and his father had left years before then. There was nothing left there now but memories, and it stung every time Roxas tried to fall asleep. He was in Sora's room, surrounded by Sora's old things, and all he wanted was the boy himself.

That green button taunted him until he finally forced himself to go through with it, watching the little shaking icon as it tried to reach the phone on the other end. Seconds felt like centuries, until it finally sent him the same notification it always did. "Failed to connect". He was used to the first little button on the screen, coloured the same green as the call button and labelled "Retry". What he wasn't used to was the second button, tinted ocean blue and imprinted with the words "Leave a message?"

With trembling hands he hit it, watching as the whole screen turned that shade of blue. Then it beeped at him, and he watched in fascination as letters scrolled across the screen. "Now recording", it said in a font that could only be described as cheerful. "Please say your message, then hit send!" At the bottom of the screen near his thumb a button bloomed into being, slate grey with the word "Send" on it in the same damnably happy font.

"Good to know I still don't understand computers," Roxas mumbled to himself, entirely uncertain about the whole ordeal. But this was for Sora. A message in a bottle, the kind that even he could write.

"Hello, Sora," he began, voice as soft and uncertain as it had ever been. "It's- it's Roxas. I mean, you can probably tell, Ven and I don't sound that similar, but we didn't really get to talk, and…" Roxas dragged one hand down his face with a sigh. "I'm gonna start over. Hello, Sora, this is Roxas, and I am just as bad with computers as you are." He let out a miserable chuckle. "Who knows if you're even gonna get this. I don't- this is dumb, and you'll probably never hear it, and I sound like an idiot, but I… I don't know what else to do." One deep breath, in and out, to steady his breathing and knock the lump in his throat back down.  _I can do this,_  he reminded himself.

"I've looked forward to finally living my own life for so long, but it's empty without you here," Roxas managed, trying and failing to keep his tone light. "Everyone is quiet. Kairi rarely talks to anyone except Riku, and he left to go find you a few days ago. Maybe you'll see him, soon." Roxas held the phone away from his face, unable to resist a single personal comment. "Even if he is a cheating bastard." He coughed and resumed speaking in a normal voice, still feeling a little silly, talking into a box. "Ven at least has Aqua and Terra, and I've got Xion, Lea, and Isa. And Namine, too. You probably wouldn't know, but Ienzo and that old coot Ansem the so-called Wise managed to bring her back. She and Xion get along really well. Probably because they both came from you and Kairi." He paused, wrinkling his nose. Should he bring up Kairi at all? Would Sora smile, thinking about the girl he'd sacrificed everything for?

"I'm probably doing this all wrong," Roxas groaned. "I'm not good at talking like you are. You could cheer people up without even trying. You even convinced us all you'd be back safe and sound with Kairi, even though you knew you'd…" This time, Roxas couldn't keep the lump in his throat down, couldn't speak past the oncoming tears. "She told us, you know," he whispered as his shoulders began to shake, "told us that you said you knew. You knew, and you went to save her anyways." Pain, fresh and vivid, pierced his heart. "It feels so selfish," he sobbed, "but I just want you here. If I had known what you were doing, I never would have let you go alone." Roxas placed his free hand on his chest, staring out the window at the stars. "It hurts so much, and I just want you  _back_." A thousand feelings, a thousand thoughts, all merging and coalescing into a singular point.  _I wish you'd never gone after her._  But… he couldn't. Couldn't say that, not when Sora had so willingly, freely given his all for her. Just like he'd given everything for him. So he said the one thing he could, the one thing that was completely true, and would be until they got him back.

"We miss you, Sora."

With that, the last of his bravado was gone. He pressed "Send" as hard as he could, feeling some slight satisfaction in the way the screen bent and the image distorted under his hand. The screen flashed green, cheerily shook a different little icon at him, then informed him "Message Sent!" Roxas sighed, letting the frustrating device slip from his fingers. It hit the floor with a dull thud, and he let his eyes slip closed.

Wait.

Message sent?

It… could it really have gotten through?

Roxas rolled over with a muffled cry, reaching for the device and nearly falling off the tiny, child sized bed in the process. His fingers scrabbled at the hard edges of the case before he finally got a good grip on it, flipping it over to stare at the screen. There it was, white on black, in blocky letters.  _Message Sent._

"Well, in that case," Roxas murmured, holding the now precious phone to his chest, "I might just have to learn how to use this damn thing." He settled into soft sheets and pillows with a breathy sigh, feeling much like a sea shell buried firmly in the sand by the tides. Sleep came to take him in a rush, the emotional high of the moments before finally leaving him. Exhaustion crushed him, heavy and soothing. Just before he gave in to the sensation, he smiled.

"The things I do for you, Sora."

* * *

 

Days passed like grains of sand in an hourglass. That dim, melancholy mood lifted slightly. They all still mourned, but life went on. And Roxas told Sora about every bit of that life as he could. Every night, curled up in blankets that didn't really belong to him, he would clutch his phone to his chest and just talk. Sometimes for a few minutes, sometimes for upwards of an hour. Sometimes he fell asleep while speaking, and woke up to find the timer ticking up to 6, 7, 8 hours. He hesitated to send those, but his thoughts were the kind that couldn't be repeated. So he hit send, and cringed at the thought of Sora laughing as Roxas's voice descended from unintelligable murmurs into soft snores. But then he smiled, because Sora laughing was a nice thought, and tried to find other things to talk about that he imagined would make his Other laugh.

Days, weeks, months, they passed in a blur of memories made and messages sent. There weren't enough bottles in the world for what Roxas had to say, and the technology he'd once despised he now grudgingly respected. It was the last link between him and the boy he wanted to know so desperately. So he sent more. Kept talking until it was a nightly routine, one he didn't dare ever skip.

"You should have seen the waves today, Sora! Kairi said that it was a perfect day to go surfing. She tried to teach us, but the only one who could get the hang of it was Aqua. I kind of thought it would be like skateboarding, but it's … it's a lot harder than that. And I may or may not have lost a bet with Lea. And I definitely didn't pay him back from the munny stash you left in the Secret Place. I… have nothing to say for myself, honestly."

"Ven almost died today. I have no idea how he does it but whenever Donald tries to make a sand sculpture, Ven finds new and creative ways to accidentally destroy it. This time he managed to get this foot caught in some washed up seaweed and fall into it head first. If I hadn't been so busy laughing I might have actually been scared."

"A huge storm came in today. The power is out, and school was cancelled, which Kairi took as an excuse to have a girls day with Namine, Xion, and Aqua in Twilight Town. Me, Lea, and Isa stayed here to watch over the house. We… we were thinking of adding on a couple of rooms, so the others could stay here too when we have family dinner but... I guess it feels wrong to change it before you get back. So for now they all cram into the living room and make do. It's kind of funny, except Aqua makes me and Ven share a bed and he snores really loud. Do you snore? Actually, no, I don't wanna know. Please never answer that. Or… well. I suppose I wouldn't mind knowing, if it meant you were here."

"Family dinner went great! Terra almost set the kitchen on fire and got kicked out, which means no more burnt food! I'm glad Aqua finally stopped living in denial, that man couldn't cook a decent meal if his life depended on it. If I had to eat charred  _anything_ one more time, I might have puked. We… we always leave a setting out for you, too. You'd be between me and Kairi. I had to fight with Ven for that, so you better be grateful."

"Today was… kind of rough. Xion's been feeling everything lately, I think, which means Lea's been moody too. We uh, we were going to get ice cream but the machinery in the shop went all wonky a day or two ago, and they were out, so that plan was a bust. I didn't really sleep last night, either. I think… I think I might have snapped at Kairi. I didn't mean to, it just happened. I'm sorry, Sora. I really hope she's not too upset."

"Kairi's gone. Not like, gone, gone, but she left. To go find you. She actually left me a message. It wasn't very long, all she said was 'I'm bringing him back. Thank you for reminding me.' Maybe what I said the other day was a good thing? I don't know. I guess you'll have to keep an eye out for her. I almost… I kind of want to go too. To find you. But I'm scared. Of what I'll find. Or… what I won't find, I guess. Just stay safe, Sora. You've got a home and a big family waiting for you here."

"It's… it's been almost a year now. It will be a year, in 2 days. Message number 349, since I started a bit late. I actually have an entirely new phone, now. Ienzo redesigned them so they wouldn't be so bulky and hard to hold. I kind of miss the old ones, but this one does fit in my pocket easier, so I guess it's okay. I… still haven't heard from Riku or Kairi. That would make sense, if they made it to wherever you are. I brought up the idea of the rest of us going to look for you, but Mickey shot me down. He said that it might be impossible to make it back from where you are now, and that we need some Keyblade wielders here to protect the Realm of Light. I wanted to argue, but… he looked so sad when he said it. I think he's really hurting, too."

"Day 365. It… I've been alive for a whole year. Finally my time here is more than my time with the Organization. I should be happy, right, Sora? I should… this is a good thing. I-"

For the first time in a long time, Roxas didn't know what to say. The words had been coming so easily for so long. But now, like it had so long ago, the first time he'd tried to send a message to Sora, his heart hurt. His throat closed up, and his eyes watered with the tears he'd refused to shed for so long. A year. A whole year, and no sign of them. A year of messages that Sora might not have ever gotten.

Roxas curled in on himself and  _sobbed_. Broken cries escaped him, even as he desperately tried to reign them in. The phone lay clutched in fingers gone white with how hard he gripped the case. His lifeline, his only connection to Sora. He'd felt it, that hollow in his chest, where Sora's heart had so briefly beat alongside his, for so long now that it felt normal. The loneliness, the pain, the grief of missing someone who was such an integral part of you, it all felt normal.

He hated it. Hatred was a feeling he'd known for so long, and now it rankled in him, with no real target to throw it at. It burned and rose and festered until it all came crashing back down, circled back around into grief. Roxas looked at the screen, a square of brilliant light in the darkness of Sora's room. He watched the seconds tick by, counted them alongside the tears rolling down his cheeks, counted them to his breathing, to the heartbeat in his chest that was missing its echo.

"Please," he whispered, _begged_ , into the silence. "Come back home."

That was the last message Roxas ever sent.

And somewhere out there, a boy with the same eyes, the same heartbeat, clutched a phone he'd been cherishing for so long, clutched it and hit replay, over and over again, until he'd memorized the cadence of his voice, the way his breath hitched just before he spoke. And he sobbed with him, for the grief he'd caused when he'd so carelessly jumped into the unknown. He waited, patiently, and then urgently, for the next message that never came.

He hit dial, watched as the icon shook and sang, holding his breath as he waited. He waited until it gave him the same message it always did, and offered the option to retry, or leave a message. And for the last time, he hit the second button, hoping beyond hope that maybe, this time, it would work. He waited, and watched, and then let out his breath with a heavy sigh.

"Now recording", it said, in a font that could only be described as cheerful. "Please say your message, then hit send!" Sora took a shaky breath. It had never worked before. He had tried and tried, wept in frustration, thrown his phone in anger only to immediately retrieve it, terrified that he had broken his last tie to home. Could it… was he getting closer? Maybe home wasn't as far away as he thought, anymore. He took another breath, deeper, steadier than the last. He could do this. He _had_ to.

"Hello, Roxas.

I got your message."

**Author's Note:**

> I... honestly couldn't think of a better way to end this. Sorry. Do I think it will take Sora that long to get hone? Probably not. However, I am a sucker for time lapses and also cinematic parallels, and I couldn't help but make the connection between the year Sora spends missing with the year he spent asleep. Also why can they leave messages, but not make actual calls? I dunno. Maybe it has something to do with they way the goddamn time travel works in this universe, don't look at me. Also I didn't proofread this nearly as thoroughly as I usually do, so please tell me if you find any mistakes. I'll go through and fix it later.
> 
> Anyways, please please go look at mageyalook on tumblr, seeing as this whole mess was inspired by their incredible art. And if for some odd reason you want to see more of me, my tumblr is kamiddani, and my partner in literary crime is quillowl. Now that the shameless self-promotion is out of the way, see you all next time!


End file.
